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What incident helped you learn how to make your self talk constructive?
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Name: Bear Wheelz
Email: bearwhlz@worldnetnospam.att.net
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 03:45:11
I had one too many frightening escapes, one too many agonizing days on the job. After years of physical therapy, I was able to hoist myself up onto my canes or crutches and, aided by braces, walk. Sure, it was a painful, exhausting experience, but I knew it was expected of you. I had used a wheelchair after my accident, and continued to use it when in any situation where I would be on my feet for long, but I had managed to avoid using one at work. I got to my job balanced on my own two braced, supported legs, and didn't want to look like a "cripple."
Some folks who knew me asked me why I put myself through the pain. My physical therapist couldn't understand it. But, when I brought it up at home, my wife (now ex) would look at me scornfully. She would tell me that if I really wanted to "give in," instead of standing up to my disability - like a man - I could do so. Of course, she thought it was a stupid, self-indulgent idea. I left the chair at home for years.
Finally, after much soul searching, a number of harrowing falls, and a myriad of evenings literally crying myself to sleep, I packed the wheelchair into the car. What would my boss say? How would my students react? I was trembling.
I tugged the chair out of the car and rolled into the building without event; everyone was so busy, they didn't notice me. I went to my classroom and got ready for the day. The bell rang and the students flooded into the room.... "Wow! A wheelchair!" "This yours?" "This is cool!" They poked and prodded and admired the machine for five minutes, then they forgot about it and turned their attention to me. We got to work.
That was my moment of awakening. Armed with the approval of my students, and their recognition that only the hardware had changed, I was still the crusty (yet caring) taskmaster they had come to know, I rolled out to face the world. I've been rolling proudly ever since, and I learned from them what no book could have taught me: that my disabilities don't make me less of a man -- no matter what anyone might say. I don't need fixin'. I'm OK just the way I am.
Copyright © 1999 Bear Wheelz. All rights reserved.
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