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What mysteries about your disability have you resolved by looking back on your life?
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Name: Patricia (Trish) Leelman
E-mail address: 3724pleel@umbsky.cc.umb.edu
Date: 18 Jul 1999
Time: 00:35:00
Remote Name: svr01-p40.ppp.umb.edu
Remote User:
When coming from the depths of a coma, more times than not, waking up is not instantaneous. Popular films portray the waking as coming out of a deep sleep, alert and ready to take on the day. Coming out of a coma is not as if a magician waved a magic and said "abracadabra, now you're in, and now you're out". In most cases the emergence is a slow, gradual process. The awakening is similar to plodding through a forest filled with underbrush and thick cobwebs toward a trickling brook on a hot summer day.
After I was medically comatose for three months, it took about the same amount for me to come to grips with the reality that I had been involved in a car accident. I specify medically because being in a coma is judged on tracking ability of the eyes, not simply an open or closed case of the eyelids.
During the months of semi-consciousness, when I awoke each day, I thought that my waking moments were nothing more than a bad dream. Time passed ever so slowly as I felt that the same nightmare kept recurring, only with slightly different scenarios each day. For my body had changed, it did not move like it used to. When therapists performed their work with me, I experienced sensations and pain that were alien to my awareness. This new environment called hospitalization contained faces and events that I did not recognize.
In the years that followed, people would ask me if I could recall anything from the three months of unconsciousness. I might respond by telling them about the time that I met Icarus and accompanied him on his journey. The closer we got to the sun, the more was revealed. As his wax wings were melting, so were my dreams of transformation.
Or I could go with the expected stories of the bright light. As I went to the light I would meet people from another time. I once met an ancient family living in the plains of Australia. They were attentive to my needs and allowed me the autonomy to live in their environment as I chose. One day while we were gathering edibles, another stranger appeared. This man was curious to them, he had a subtle difference in his demeanor. His body did not conform to the norm. Or should I say our norm. Yet he came from a time when the thought of him not fitting in was alien to him. He did not consider himself to be different, as a matter of fact, he's the one who thought we were a bit peculiar for entertaining such an idea. For his difference mattered no more than eye color or the hue of hair.
On a clear and blue afternoon, the stranger and I headed for the mountain trails. We wanted to see what mysteries lie on the other side of the range. As we traveled along, I tried to make clear to him, even though I did not understand it myself, how it is that our society views physical difference. I explained that the people were divided between the 'haves' and the 'have-nots'. This division existed not only on a monetary level, it also was apparent in physical differences, such as skin color and capability. The rules had been formed, both covertly and overtly, by those wielding power.
He then expressed that none of those conditions existed in his time. In fact it was such a foreign notion to him that he had difficulty grasping the the concept. After we walked along in silence for a time, digesting what the other had said, he turned to me and suggested that we try to find a way for both of us to return to his time. I sat on the edge of a cliff and responded by saying that I would have to give it thought. As I sat and explored the idea, I heard strange sounds.
Off in the distance I heard strange sounds like the clanking of sterile stainless steel instruments. As I opened my eyes a familiar face came into view as I heard my mother proclaim, "She tracking, her eyes are tracking!"
Copyright © 1999 Patricia Leelman. All rights reserved.
Name: Grasten Hilocceh
E-mail address: gardner@mail.ru
Date: 21 Feb 2008
Time: 18:45:58
Remote Name: 83.217.192.160
Remote User:
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E-mail address: drxvvk@louopi.com
Date: 04 Mar 2008
Time: 08:02:46
Remote Name: 195.225.178.21
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Remote Name: 195.2.114.31
Remote User:
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