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Original Sin

Name: Gary Roberts
Email: jg86@hotmail.com
Date: 08 Aug 2000
Time: 04:04:34

Story

I sat beside the small coffin in which lay the body of my infant daughter. The room was full of people, but all of them were hearing and they either talked to one another or sat listening to other conversations. I had married a hearing woman, and the baby in the coffin was our first born.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see the preacher of the Holiness Church who could sign in a limited fashion. He told me he was sorry, but he added that maybe this was a message from God to me. I was not saved and the baby had maybe died because I refuse to obey God.

His words cast me down into a deeper depression than I was already experiencing. They pushed me to the brink of despair. Could it be so? Was she dead because I had refused to obey our Lord?

Later that afternoon, two sisters from the local Catholic order came up to me. They had brought a friend with them who could sign. They told me they had been praying for us, and, yes, they smiled as we hugged. One of them said she knew how sad I was but today I had a little angel in heaven.The picture they gave me of my daughter rejoicing around the throne of The Lord filled me with warmth and love.

I had been to churches where preachers saw each disabled person as a challenge to bring divine healing to. How terrible the burden, they would shout! Lift it from this poor child. They inflicted parents with the guilt that maybe the child was given them because they had sinned. The disabled child was a test of their faith, and their burden to bear on earth.

Today, 25 years later, the words of the preacher from Holiness Church still bring pain to my soul. The gentle words of the sisters, in contrast, bring a surge of joy to my being. That night, at my daughter's wake, I was alone and vulnerable and the preacher sought me out to pile guilt on top my grief. The sisters were able to unburden me of my guilt and free my spirits. I am sure today that God sent the sisters to lift me from the depths that the unkind words of the preacher had cast on me.

The perceptive I have of my disability is that it is so light and gentle that it is not a burden. Over the years, I have met so many people with such severe limitations and in pain that I am embarrassed to raise my voice to God to ask for healing. For everything my disability removed from me many other blessings have been added. I have four other children today and I have had a great life. Pity myself if I should despair over my deafness.

My daughter lived to be eight months old, and she and many other people with tragically shortened lives have taught me that it is not the length but the quality of the time you live. If I die this minute or the next day, then they will have to note that I have had a long life. A good life and I hope a Christian life.

Copyright © 2000 Gary Roberts. All rights reserved.

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