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How do you deal with feeling inferior in a society that devalues disability?
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Name: Jennifer Popky-Gousie
Email: jgousie@aol.com
Date: 11 Jul 1999
Time: 16:09:47
Remote Name: spider-wl053.proxy.aol.com
I like to read women's magazines. They have articles about fat women, thin women, black women, stay-at-home moms, ad nauseum. But they don't have articles on disabled women. It is as if you can be one or the other, but not both.
I have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter. Now, all my life, people have barged up to me to ask me how I got this way or why do I walk like that. So I thought I was used to it. Then I began to show.
You would have thought I had a swastika tattooed to my forehead and was screaming obscenities on the corner, the way I was accosted. It went from the dreamingly nice ("Oh, how nice that you can have a baby.") to outright indignation ("How dare you bring a child into this world that you can't take care of? My taxes are going to your child!"). I own my own business, so I highly doubt it.
The best was this pimply-faced kid who said, rather loudly, "D**m! I didn't know you people had sex!" Note that it was "you people," not girls or women.
Women, for the most part, are treated as being inferior to men. Disabled women are inferior to able-bodied women, being denied our own femininity and the respect that able-bodied women receive when they become mothers.
It is hard not to buy into that inferiority. I cannot go out alone with my baby (yet), and she has learned that, if she lies on the floor, Mommy cannot pick her up. But I am a mother for life, not just infancy. And I am scared the kids will make fun of her because of me, that she will not want me around because I am an embarrassment. But maybe she'll want to show me off because I did it anyway. That is the only way to deal with inferiority.
Copyright © 1999 Jennifer Popky-Gousie. All rights reserved.
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