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How have you successfully dealt with the double whammy: disability and depression?

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Trying to live with pain and not be depressed

Name: Cheryl Lindsay
Email: love360@earthlink.net
Date: 20 Feb 2000
Time: 00:01:07

Story

I filed for my disability in '97. It's Feb. 19, 2000 -- no job, no income. Pain everyday for the rest of my life because the judge said he knew I had many disabilities but could not determine the amount of pain or even if it was enough to be considered disabled.

Born with asthma, 8 operations on my hands and arms, arthritic condition in my back and knees, migraines to the point of blackouts. And, if that wasn't enough, two years ago I found a lump in my left breast.

Now normally that wouldn't bother me, but my mother died of breast cancer and my father of lung cancer so I kind-a already know it's cancer. I sometime think it's Gods way of taking me out of this hell I'm living in now.

But I get up every morning after taking a hand full of pain pills just to get my hands to move and go about my day. I write at least one letter to Washington or Congress or talk shows or the radio stations a day in order to pave a way for some one else that might have to go through what I am now.

Three weeks ago I got a migraine. No big deal, right? Wrong. This led to a blackout. You see while I wait here to die I went back to college to learn how to write better letters. My body's failing but, at times, my brain works fairly good. I've got a 4.0 GPA right now, but this day was different. I was in so much pain that my eyes hurt and I was alone and had to drive 22 miles home I don't remember a thing. I could have killed someone or got killed myself. God must be keeping me here for something. Now I'm afraid to leave home. I am now my own prisoner.

Copyright © 2000 Cheryl Lindsay. All rights reserved.

Last changed: June 25, 2008

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