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No more "if only"

Name: Martha Rhoton
Email: mrhoton@me.vccs.edu
Date: 11 Jul 2001
Time: 16:51:48

Story

Delusions, illusions, daydreams, smoke and mirrors -- no magic trick is going to make the disability go away. Wow! Think I've just had an epiphany!

When I was small and had to wear braces, I would think "if only" I could wear regular shoes I wouldn't be so different from everyone else, and somehow they wouldn't notice the difference, either ... Wrong!

Later, I'd think if only I had a college degree I could pursue my chosen calling, to teach. Well, I got the degree, but teaching wasn't in the game plan; I'm sure it had something to do with the disability ...

Then I thought if only I had a job people would finally see me for a person first, just like everyone else. I'm so thankful to have a job and be out in the workplace so folks can see that "we" can do a job and be productive members of society. But I'm not so naive that I don't know that people talk about "that woman they've got working up there at the college who can't even walk." I know it's just a way to describe someone, like you'd say "that big, fat woman" or "the black lady in the pink dress," and I know that's the way people will always see me.

Finally, I've come to accept this, because after all, it is the truth! So I've tried to forget about the "if onlys" and get on with my life, come what may. Life is the ultimate reality!

Copyright © 2001 Martha Rhoton. All rights reserved.

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