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What disability-related experience do you remember with particular amusement?

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Enjoying Unusual Situations

Name: Celia Casper
Email: celiacc@premier1.net
Date: 07 Jun 1999
Time: 18:20:05
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How interesting of a topic, enjoying unusual situations. A very necessary one, but it feels so remote a lot of times. I need to make a definite effort because I keep getting caught up in survival mode. Here we are masters of our fate, captains of the ship -- but some of us can't get out of bed without assistance.

Society makes it clear there is a bounty on our heads. We get sentenced to institutions for crimes we didn't commit. We are aware of the burden to the taxpayers. How much clearer can it get? We are tested in a thousand different ways to hang on to shreds of dignity while surrounded with inequity.

How many times have we gone out for leisure purposes and had to again switch into activist modality? We need to quickly move through whatever the issue is to get to the heart of the moment -- the ultimate reason to be, to share with our families and friends.

When the bus comes, do we anticipate the look of irritation on the passengers’ faces because they need to get out of their seat or it interferes with a tight schedule? Does good

self-esteem project a give-a-crap attitude how our needs impact others? Or, would some apologetic stance be best?

Now I'm really digging here this morning to invite my spirit out. I feel really tired of all the disability issues that need to be considered. And it must be done. It's vital to us that it gets done by us. And I am part of the "us." It's just hard to get away from those issues to "enjoy"' the moments that present themselves. And it is not just true for people with disabilities. I've gotten so accustomed to a mode of defense that I honestly don't like having to kick into so much. It’s kind of like having to keep up a certain front of standards before anyone meets you. A default of defense.

We get all these pats on the back for doing these inhuman things. Like being praised for being patient while waiting endlessly for results to be manifest in some of the simplest basic things the "normal"' person would have trashed long ago.

I see that we need to make peace with so many of these struggles. Perhaps I should say "I." I need to make peace with and embrace where I am at to prepare the way to move on. I need to balance my energy so it doesn't feel so overwhelming to get beyond the disability issues. Kind of like tending a garden of sorts.

So the unusual situation I will enjoy today is doing some writing while listening to my water fountain and some music. Burn some incense and pet the kitties throughout the day as I do my work at home. I will give thanks to Spirit for the tools I have available to express myself and reach out to others of like minds and hearts. I will give thanks my electric wheelchair is operational this day. I have some wonderful friends. I am happy for my mind and creativity. I am happy to see even when I get low and lost I pull myself out pretty quickly. I know I am strong, even though sometimes I get tired of needing to be. I'm glad I can read. I am glad I have been focusing on giving more to others in heartfelt ways.

My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's this past year. I moved him to the town where I live so I could visit him every week. This has been a tremendous healing for me. I thank God, Spirit, whatever you wish to call it, that I have this opportunity to love and care for him. The circumstances suck, but I found him a really great non-institutional type setting to live in. Each week as I go there and open myself up, forget myself to listen and learn and love I get this incredible "right" feeling. It calls up a piece of my heart I didn't even imagine. He is such a gentle spirited sweet man. He has found a girl friend there to hold hands and walk with.

Now, this is kind of not your usual way of enjoying, but, given the situation, I’m making it the best possible. I enjoy learning this new level of love. And these feelings make all that "worldly" fighting, legislating and on and on melt in the background for a few precious moments. There sure is a lot of power in hand holding, don't you think?

Copyright © 1999 Celia Casper. All rights reserved.

Celia Casper
celiacc@premier1.net
http://celiacasper.com

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