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Name: ALMA A.G. DARROUX
Email: alma_darroux@hotmail.com
Date: 17 May 1999
Time: 18:12:45
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Parents of children with disabilities and their supporters and generally people with
disabilities are greatly concerned about the attitude held by many towards the disabled.
People with disabilities, too, want to be equal beneficiaries of their nation’s
heritage, including its wealth. In all handicapping positions, be they physical,
sensorial, mental, intellectual or social, some people will need help and support for part
of their lives, while others will need help all of their lives.
- Dr. Ron Chandran-Dudley
I fully support the sentiments of Dr. Chandran-Dudley. The world over, people with disabilities oftentimes fall into the disadvantaged bracket. Most people with disabilities around the world are the poorest and most prejudiced group. Why, you may ask? Well, I would like to suggest a few pointers. Parents, you play a part, too, in that area. When you allow to trickle through the cutting barbs of society (the put-downs, letdowns, denouncements, stereotyping, criticisms), you, in turn, (albeit unconsciously) become partakers of that group of people who diminish the value of people with disabilities. Yes, that’s right. Whenever you accept every taunt directed at your child, you become an unknowing participant in that pattern.
I mean, parents, you have to got stand up, tall and firm for the rights of your children. You have the right to uphold everything that is good, honest and right. Your child, too, is human – like you. Whatever your child's disability, he/she also has needs and wants and, yes, dreams, and aspirations. Each person can achieve a single dream if the mind is set to win.
Parents have a great part to play in the way society views the disabled. In short – you are the maker or breaker of your child. Each child, disabled or not, should be given a lesson in independence – the ability to ‘stand’ on their own, disregarding types of disability. You play an instrumental part in the upbringing of your child, and, as such, every effort should be made to advance the needs and wants of the child for the better. Parents, you need to be flexible and act now! Don’t sit back.
I am physically challenged, and, yet, with the grace of God and the wise upbringing of my mother who had the foresight to envisage the future and made plans to help secure me an education, I was enabled as much as possible to experience a normal life among able-bodied people, who grew so accustomed to me that today these people do not even consider me physically disabled. Because they know what I stand for. They have witnessed my growth and now respect me as an individual and not as someone who deserves to be taken care of. They have noticed my independent spirit.
Parents, you have the right to push your child forward to stake his or her claim in society. Children with disabilities will not be shunned, if they are made to comfortably cohabit with able-bodied children in society. Yes, society -- because familiar faces may not always be around. You have to wake up to the fact that you will not always be around to safeguard your child, and, as such, you should hasten to remedy the situation by:
1. Having the children integrated into society as early as possible in their life – this allows them to state their rights and, in turn, allows the non-disabled to be better educated about the physically challenged. Thereby, we, in turn, gain a more caring, understanding and loving society.
2. Helping them to appreciate themselves as they are so that they may be confident and that confidence will shine through.
3. Helping them also to integrate with other children with disabilities as a means of balance so that they may not be self-conscious whenever they come across other people with similar conditions.
4. Allowing them to perform certain chores in the home – be it cooking, doing the dishes, sweeping, making the beds, dusting – that they may feel useful not only to you but to themselves in the long run. Regardless of disability there must be one chore a child can perform quite well.
5. Teaching them important subjects like, yes, sex education; we should never assume that our children know about sex, neither should we assume that the mentally disabled can be left in ignorance. Children should be taught both the physical and biological facts, the physical aspects of their bodies and their functions as well as the results of sexual behavior. They should also be taught to develop moral values and to be able to decide on what is acceptable behavior and what is not – to make judgments in situations involving sex in which they may find themselves. They should learn to have confidence in their judgments – to say “no” if they do not want something to happen. Help them to understand their bodies and their feelings so that intelligent and practical decisions can be made.
6. Correcting them lovingly, not by shouting, name-callings, or dark looks but gently and always firmly with a spanking or two. Being sure to always inform them for the reason for discipline.
7. Allowing them to participate in groups/clubs/church/community activities that they may not feel left out of the fun.
8. Placing the physically disabled in public schools so that they may not feel left out and outcasts of society, and that they, too, may have a fair chance in gaining an education to better his or her life and even yours in the future.
9. Educating people in the public vigorously but patiently and gently about children with disabilities, their needs and wants, never backing down in the face of adversity, but always pushing forward for a good cause – the happiness and rights of the disabled for freedom of expression and self in society. Everyone needs to be listened to in a just and democratic society, even the disabled. We all have voices and should be patiently listened to like everyone else when voicing our opinions and feelings.
Parents, whether you like it or not, whether you feel capable or not, you are responsible for your child’s training and education. So do not take things for granted, do not use ignorance or embarrassment as an excuse. Make a genuine effort to help your children. Look for help if necessary.
In the end, you will be happy you pushed at the beginning for the development of your child as an individual, and you will most certainly be blessed by God, especially when He is made the central factor in your lives. Praise Him daily and you will gain strength and courage to move on.
-Alma A.G. Darroux (physically challenged young woman)
(the Commonwealth of Dominica)
Copyright © 1999 Alma A.G. Darroux. All rights reserved.
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