Molly's Magic - Learning to appreciate Epilepsy

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From: Christine Fader
Email: clb@post.queensu.ca
Date: 21 Mar 2002
Time: 08:25:04
Remote Name: u34.n112.queensu.ca
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Story

Once upon a time there was a fairly ordinary girl with slightly tangled, wind-blown hair and curious eyes. She was not too tall and not too short. She was not too loud and not too quiet. Her name was Molly and she looked fairly ordinary. But really she was not ordinary at all. She was special. Molly never told anyone but she knew that she was magic.

Now you might think that this is quite strange. How can a fairly ordinary girl be magic? She must have been pretending or wishing for something that did not exist. But she was not. Molly knew that she was magic when she got a feeling inside her belly. It grew and grew and she winked her left eye in the secret magical wink and all of a sudden, wonderful things began to happen.

When she was being magic, Molly felt so happy she could not stop laughing. No matter what kind of horrible day she was having, the laughter would bubble up from inside her and raise her to the clouds with joy. When she was being magic, her cowboy would come to play with her. He was tall and brave and wore gold chaps that sparkled when he moved. He had cozy looking whiskers and stars on his boots. No matter where she was, when she was being magic, he would appear and make her smile. They played hop scotch together and he would always try to cheat with his big boots. Sometimes, if there were other people around, he sat right on top of one of the people in the room. But they didn’t notice because they weren’t magic. When the cowboy did this, it made Molly giggle a lot.

One day, the cowboy was standing on one foot and making the stars on his boots flash on and off by pulling on his ears. Molly couldn’t help herself. She fell down on the ground because she was laughing so hard. She laughed so hard her tummy hurt and she shouted, “Stop cowboy, please stop!” The cowboy wound up his foot and kicked a bunch of the magic stars right off his boot and they accidentally flew up her nose. He was only having fun but the stars kind of prickled and in the middle of her laughing, Molly suddenly struggled to breathe. The cowboy felt very badly about his mistake and he looked so crestfallen that Molly started to cry very loudly. The cowboy was so ashamed that he disappeared.

Molly cried and cried and the babysitter looked worried and held her too close and whispered “oh what shall we do” and called for the doctor. The little girl was so tired out from all her magic, that she fell into a deep sleep.

The doctor came and went and when she woke up, the babysitter told her that she was living with a terrible monster, and she must be very careful so that the monster would go away. At first, Molly didn’t realize that she was talking about her magic. She waited with some nervousness for the monster to appear, but it never did. Sometimes when she was eating peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwiches, she would wonder if the monster would try to come and snatch them away. But it never did.

The next time she saw the cowboy, he had perked up his spirits and plumped up his sparkles and they had a jolly time together. He had brought his friend, a little old lady with soft gray hair and a burgundy dress with a white lace collar. She was so small that Molly could look straight at the cameo pin that was in the middle of her collar. It was made of a beautiful stone and the little old lady took it off and let Molly touch it to her lips to feel its cool texture. “It’s full of love” said the old lady. It had a fuzzy feel to it and soon Molly’s lips began to tingle.

Molly said that her lips felt fuzzy and the school children and the teacher all looked worried and crowded too close and whispered “oh what shall we do” and called for the doctor. The little girl was so tired out from all her magic, that she fell into a deep sleep.

The doctor came and went and when she woke up, the teacher and the school children told her that she was living with a terrible monster, and she must be very careful so that the monster would go away. At first, Molly didn’t realize that they were talking about her magic. She waited with some nervousness for the monster to appear, but it never did. Sometimes when she was skipping in the school yard, she would check behind her to see if it was following along. When she played hide and seek with the other school children, she would peek out from between her fingers to see if it was sneaking around in the bushes. But it never was.

When she was being magic, Molly forgot about the monster. One night as she lay in her bed, her magic took her deep into the ocean. The water was crystal clear and there were creatures of great mystery and colour swimming all around her. One of the fish, a large angel fish that was bigger than she was, blinked at her and bent his fin to beckon her to the underwater tea party that was happening just across the reef. He was such a fast swimmer that she struggled to keep up. She flapped her arms, and pushed her body hard and kicked her feet.

Her mother and father, both looked worried as they picked her up off the floor in the middle of the night, hugged her too close and whispered “oh what shall we do” and called for the doctor. The little girl was so tired out from all her magic, that she fell into a deep sleep.

The doctor came and went and when she woke up, Molly’s mother and father told her that she was living with a terrible monster, and she must be very careful so that the monster would go away. At first, Molly didn’t realize that they were talking about her magic. She waited with some nervousness for the monster to appear, but it never did. Sometimes when she was just about to fall asleep, she opened one eye and scanned the room to see if it was there. She checked her closets and under the bed before she got under the covers each night to see if it might be hiding. But it never was.

The little girl, Molly, grew older. She had long ago forgotten about her magic, but she lived in constant fear of the monster that stalked her. It was tall and skinny with a long pointy nose and grey skin. It wore a black wiggly top hat and a long black suit with cuffs that covered its hands except for its long grey fingernails. It perched on top of things, like the shelves where they kept the kleenex at the Zeller’s store. It looked like it was part crow, part man. It was venomous, smelly and its beak-like nose and claw fingers were just waiting to grab at her. It was there, waiting for her at the grocery store where her family went to buy her cereal. It was there, hanging on top of the blackboard at the front of her classroom at school. It would laugh at her in an evil and leering way. She wished there was some magic to make it go away. But there never was.

Molly felt very sad. She knew she was different. She had a monster in her life and it would not go away. She planned her activities so she could try to avoid the places that he might be waiting for her. She didn’t get too happy or too sad about anything, just in case she caught the attention of the monster. She saw that the people who loved her were very afraid of the monster, so she tried her best not to let it find her. She felt very proud when she succeeded in out-smarting it. She felt great shame when it found her. But most of all, she knew that she was living with a monster and she must be careful so that it would go away.

Molly was very strong. She had built great walls to keep the monster out and it took a lot of her energy to make sure that they stayed tall. She built great walls around her friends and her family so that they would feel protected from the monster too. The walls made her feel safe for a time, but sometimes the monster would fly right over and settle in for a while on top of one of the turrets. It would wait, and watch, and just when it saw that the wall was built high enough, it would stand on its tall scrawny legs and jump up and down. Higher and higher it would jump until all the rocks came tumbling down and she was defenseless again. But she kept re-building. She knew that she was living with a monster and she must be careful so that it would go away.

One morning, after a great deal of building and re-building, Molly slept late. She lay in her canopy bed behind the walls and sighed and dreamed. As she lay there drowsing, she suddenly felt …well, she could only describe it as getting a feeling inside her belly. It grew and grew and she winked her left eye in a strange wink and all of a sudden, she felt that wonderful things had began to happen. Her eyes flew open and she saw a flash of gold and starry boots disappearing around the corner of her bedroom door. Puzzled, she got out of bed and tiptoed across the carpet. There was no one there. No gold. No starry boots. And most of all, no monster! Molly got back into bed and thought about this. The feeling in her belly felt strangely familiar. She suddenly felt a smile start to reach her lips and she was about to laugh out loud, when she remembered: she knew that she was living with a monster and she must be careful so that it would go away.

Weeks passed and although Molly was always conscious of the presence of the monster, it did not make an appearance. Sometimes in the day, she would catch herself smiling just a little at the thought of that feeling in her belly, and the thought of it became a kind of shield against her fear. The more time that passed, the more she realized that this shield was far more effective than the walls she had built to keep out the monster. It seemed to have gathered the strength of gold and the brilliance of the stars that she had glimpsed so briefly. It certainly took less energy than building and re-building the walls when the monster knocked them down. Still, she knew she was living with a monster and she must be careful so that it would go away.

One warm summer evening, Molly ventured out beyond the walls for the first time since she could remember. She couldn’t resist the aroma of the grass and the sounds of the crickets. She had her shield and so she set out, amazed at the many stars in the sky and the beauty of the wind mixing with the freedom she felt. She checked in the tree branches occasionally to see if the monster was there, but it wasn’t. After a time, she lay down in a large open field with her hands behind her head, gazing at the night full of stars. She closed her eyes and as she took a deep breath, she felt stars go up her nose! She giggled in spite of her astonishment and when she opened her eyes, she saw a cowboy standing in front of her. He was tall and brave and wore gold chaps that sparkled when he moved. He had cozy looking whiskers and stars on his boots.

Suddenly, she knew she was magic. Now you might think that this is quite strange. How can a fairly ordinary girl be magic? She must have been pretending or wishing for something that did not exist. But she was not. Molly knew that she was magic when she got a feeling inside her belly. It grew and grew and she winked her left eye in the secret magical wink and all of a sudden, a wonderful thing happened:

Molly knew that she was living with magic and she must be careful so that it would not go away.

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From: land
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Date: 19 May 2008
Time: 02:34:50
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