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When was the first time you let yourself feel
the injustice that was happening to you because of your disability?

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What I Am Feeling At This Point In My Life
As A Person With A Disability

From: A Friend Of Celia Casper
Email: rla@home.com
Date: 08 Jun 1999
Time: 21:10:56
Remote Name: proxy1-external.wyn1.pa.home.com
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Comments

These are the just the thoughts of a disabled person with way too much time on his hands and nothing to do but to get angry at a lot of people and a lot of things and the system and especially ourselves. Let me ramble for awhile undisturbed and maybe I can make some sense out of these thoughts:

The word "help" has been overused by trillions of people throughout the existence of man or ape, whichever you tend to believe in. Personally, I feel that, if we evolved from ape, why are there still apes hanging around?

For many years while sitting in public I've listened to people talk about this and that, and they are unaware that a trained ear is listening to their every word. That leaves me with loads of thoughts on the subject of help.

Help my son get out of prison. Why, did we put him there when he raped that little girl?

Help me with my debts. Why, did we help you to shop for all those diamond earrings and all the toys for the kiddies?

Help me with a hand-out. Why, are we too lazy to work and contribute to society, or is this the easy way out? Use a gun; it's quicker.

Help me install the TV or VCR or clock. The batteries go there, duh. The cord goes into that thing on the wall that has narrow slots in it, duh. Oh, well, there goes 4 years of post graduate work down the drain. Read the instructions like I am about to do, or are we too brain dead from all that learning.

Give me some money for a drink. Here's 25 cents, buy a paper, find a job, any job will do and then buy all the booze you want to and destroy your liver and your life.

Hi, I am a bum. Give me money. Better than that old chap, bend over so I can kick you in your ass. Feeling better now? Thought so. Now get a job.

We all need help from time to time, but what type or form of help depends on us. Are we an infant who is totally dependent on outside forces for nourishment and well-being?

Are we the bum on the corner who is just too dammed lazy to work so he can kill himself with the cheap rot gut he calls whiskey?

Are we the drug addicts who need to feel good about ourselves? What about the others, your family? Ever consider what you are doing to them with your lack of concern? Every visit to the emergency room, should you make it alive, costs the rest of us a lot of money to support your habit.

Pain. Pain that has and knows no boundaries or limits until it ends in the death of an individual or animal or amoebae, whatever. Pain that medications don't relieve or dull, pain that depresses one to suicidal thoughts. End the pain, please. Calling Dr. Death, are you out of prison yet? Pain that refuses to quit, even just for a minute. Pain that prevents stage 4 rem deep sleep. Pain that prevents you from bathing, from brushing your teeth, from being held or hugged. Pain that isolates you from your family, your friends, your co-workers (Christ, mine haven't called me in 13 months on orders of the employer). Pain that wakes you up in the middle of the night screaming for help where there is none. But the neighbors call the police for fear you've been murdered in your sleep. Who pays for the broken down door?.

How to you help someone in that type of pain:

1] offer to be a friend but only if you sincerely mean it and truly understand the definition of friendship.

2] offer to pick up some food, walk the dog, do some dusting.

3] offer to go for walks or strolls in the country side or along a river bank.

4] offer to bring over a pizza and a video.

5] offer as much freedom as possible.

6] offer to snuggle or cuddle ( sexual preferences aside )

7] offer a strong yet soft shoulder to lean on and depend on in a crisis. 8] offer to listen, listen, listen and listen.

9] allow the person to cry without being ashamed.

What not to do in any form:

1] do not involve yourself if you are in pain yourself.

2] don't force your opinions on the person.

3] don't offer to open a door unless asked to.

4] do not pretend to know more than a doctor, especially if you are hooked on any form of anti-depressant drug.

What would be nice:

1] offer some exciting choices or trips: to the beach, for a drive, to a casino, to a museum, an art festival, an arts and crafts show.

2] show that you care.

3] brighten up a room with some flowers. Everyone loves flowers, even me.

"Stupid is as stupid does." Thanks, Forrest. Stupidity:

1] People who look right at you, smile and then broadside you with their car or motorized shopping cart and then blame it on you, the one in the wheelchair.

2] Anyone who feels, thinks or were brought up thinking that disabled people are the same as non-disabled people.

3] Women who demand equal jobs / equal pay, then cannot perform as well as the male counterpart, gets fired, then sues for unequal rights.

4] Store owners who don't care if your wheelchair or walker won't fit through their doorway or who refuse to install reasonable access.

5] People in authority abusing authority.

6] People who teach racism in any form.

7] Just plain old rude and obnoxious people.

Loneliness:

I am very lonely, have felt this way since my fiancee abandoned me 13 months ago because of my disability and the fact I would be wheelchair bound. Women smile at me, but I am not allowed to smile back because that is sexual harassment. Why should I smile anyway? Who (besides a puppy) wants to spend their life with someone in a wheelchair, no matter how gorgeous, or intelligent, or well mannered that person is?

Too many snobs in this world and no one cares that we are people, too. Did we ask for this illness, disease, syndrome, malady? I should say not. Just treat us like we were normal people because guess what? Maybe we are missing a limb, maybe we stutter a little, maybe we are in a wheelchair, maybe we have terminal cancer, maybe we just want some company, some friendship.

Maybe we just want to live among you, like normal people.

Copyright © 1999 Anonymous. All rights reserved. (Ask Celia C. who I am.)

Last changed: April 13, 2008

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