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What experience has helped you gain self respect?
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Name: Cathy Perel
Email: perel@feist.com
Date: 14 Feb 1999
Time: 04:14:04
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I broke my neck when I was twelve (1978) -- too old to be a kid; too young to be an adolescent. After the first year, I went to a regional disability rehabilitation center which specialized in spinal cord injury (SCI) and traumatic brain injury (TBI). Despite my father's belief that I was born old, some naivete remained. (How could it be otherwise?)
In 1979, the rehab philosophy was twofold: (1) use it or lose it; and (2) you can do anything you want -- except walk, if you try hard enough. I was an idiot. I bought their dogma hook, line, and sinker without question. We all make mistakes.
Over the years, I learned several important truisms:
1) If you use it, you will lose it. What I mean is overuse syndrome (aka repetitive strain injuries). Mine came in the form of carpal tunnel in both wrists and chronic pain in my left shoulder. My joints will never be as they were when I was injured. They no longer despense this advice. Unfortunately, I figured it out fifteen years too late.
2) You can't do everything you want or can do regardless of how hard you try. There are only 24 hours in a day, and choices must be made. Do I want to spend two hours of time and energy getting dressed, or do I want to work on advocacy issues? Do I want to spend an hour pushing my chair somewhere, or opt for the electric option so as to finish my paper on John Locke? Do I want to be tied to a person or place every four to six hours for intermittent catheterization or shall I choose an indwelling catheter? In the end, independence isn't determined by what you do or do not do. Independence is managing those to whom you've relegated tasks you choose not to perform and performing those tasks which you choose to perform. Once I learned that, I didn't feel quite as dependant as I had.
I'm still working on the rest.
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