The Man Across the Desk

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How have you bridged the gap between being included but still feeling left out?

Name: Gary Roberts
Email: jg86@hotmail.com
Date: 28 Feb 2000
Time: 20:42:01

Story

In the course of my career as a professional in the field of disability rehabilitation, I have met hundreds of people like the man on the other side of the desk. I had to concentrate so that I could see the man I was talking to, and not a panorama of faces. He has a degenerative bone disease and is in a wheel chair. He still has limited us of his upper extremities but the lower ones are withered.

I will him to come out from behind the desk and sit opposite of me. I really need his help with a client I am attempting to intervene with. What I need from him more specifically is a good word -- a hand reaching across the desk to lift up another physically challenged person. Instead I get this cold formal lecture on how he has made it, and how important he feels his drive and determination is to his achievement. He feels that other disabled people don't try hard enough and are consumed by their disabilities.

This man serves as the chair for several disability services programs. He is appointed by the governor to represent people with disabilities on several boards. He has the ability to talk the talk, but it is obvious to me that is all he will do. The man across the desk is not above using his disability to gain recognition or to further his career. He is not going to stick his neck out for another person with a disability.

It is obvious to me that he is uncomfortable with my being there, and what I am asking him to do. So I start looking for ways to beat a hasty retreat. I have to control my impulse to go negative, for as much as he will not help me, he would not hesitate to harm me professionally if he became angry.

We talk casually for awhile and I see another side of him. He says in his home he has no full-length mirrors. For his almost fifty years he has ignored or denied his limitations. As he gets older and heavier he is deteriorating and he asks me for my opinion. I tell him that I think he has over compensated and that the wear and tear on his upper extremities from hauling his body around on crutches is bringing irreversible decline.

He has a very good job and earns a great living. I have walked through life as a person with physical challenges and have seen many people like the brother behind the desk. There have been depressingly few exceptions. Many of them got where they are by using disability rights, but as fast as they arrived they forgot those left behind. So I stand and watch him haul himself on his crutches back to his office. I am aware of the extreme energy he must use to do that task. I am once again amazed at the determination to deny essentially who he is. I know the price he pays.. He is the assistant director of the agency, and he will never have the reins of power in his own hands. For as much as he has stature, he has only a facimile of power.

I hope all the people with physical challenges who have made it and sit behind desks will read this and gain a grain of consciousness. When they pass a person with a disability, and become aware of a need, I hope they will come out from behind the desk and extend a hand to lift the brother or sister up.

The Man Across the Desk

Story

Last changed: October 20, 2003