Disability and Rejection

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From: Kurt W. Franke
Email: kurty@optonline.net
Date: 21 Oct 2002
Time: 10:16:27
Remote Name: ool-18bee4d3.dyn.optonline.net
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I no longer accept rejection from anybody unless I know it’s the truth. I never knew, until lately, how many times through the years people had lied to me about various things concerning my disability. For instance, I now see the way many employers who don’t want you in their office will offer little excuse except “I’ll talk to you soon.” Of course they really aren’t going to speak to you at all. They won’t tell you honestly what they are indeed thinking. They, like so many in society, are lying and what’s worse, feeling as though they are justified in doing so. That’s neither a valid excuse for rejection or a way to act human. Through the many years living with severe disability, I’ve so many times felt I was being deceived in one way or another. I now realize, after many years of enduring this, I was correct about all that I sensed. I live a life that is just within the bounds of society, which “they” accept. I’ve learned, through great heartache and deep personal effort, to confront those people with the truth whenever I feel as though I’m being told a lie. I’ve learned to say “no”. I’ve seen eyes change expression when this person now knows that I will not tolerate being lied to. With the shocking contempt that so many “regular “ people” unwittingly harbor, I’m not afraid to say what I see: no matter where and when I see it. As a disabled person, I am hoisted upon the social chopping block anytime by anyone. Embarrassing, awkward social debacles have occurred because of mistreatment by strangers that I had just met. I’ve often encountered people saying one thing to me when I know they are thinking and talking about something else: my crippled body and their inherent bias towards me and every part of my disabled life. I see so many people looking for satisfaction at my expense. They attempt to throw me into a social melting pot whereupon I have to defend myself immediately without hesitation. If I do not defend myself properly with dignity, I’ll fall prey to the ugly narrow minds surrounding me. People take notice of me in the rudest of ways. They certainly would not stare down another able-bodied person as they do to me. No. They wouldn’t dare. They will flagrantly observe me in a stupor, which would not be accepted by any self-respecting person in this society. Suddenly they are fearless and confident. They impulsively say what they feel because my disability has given them the “right” to speak to me the way they like. They arrogantly instruct me about what they think without the slightest fear of having to defend themselves against a valid opinion. My opinion doesn’t matter because I’m less of a human being than they. I’m viewed as weak and helpless. Yes, because of my physical disability it paves the way for volumes of insulting demeaning phrases and appalling insensitive talk that I’m very use to hearing in so many different social settings. I’ve seen and heard this behavior for so very many years. It was a long, hurtful time for me before I gained the wisdom and strength to properly say “No” to “regular society.” Thinking from within and learning to be civil through all my disappointments and angers, I’ve achieved an attitude and demeanor, which has unwittingly helped all the ignorant spirits around me. I know through the years, by my brutal honesty in confronting those who have lied to me, I’ve hurt many people. Reacting from their own terrible ugly weaknesses, I’ve seen so many strangers’ expressions change from a condescending patronizing countenance to one of anger and dislike for me. The individual, with whom I’m speaking, becomes uncomfortable after realizing that what they’ve said to me is cruel, not true, and an excuse for them wanting me away from their family and friends. Suddenly this “regular” person recognizes that I’m not going to accept the pretensions they are attempting to sling upon me. What a surprise to a pathetic, uppity able-bodied person when discovering that I’m human: that I won’t take the lies and deceit that are being viciously hurtled upon me for no other reason except that I’m crippled. People quickly realize that I’ll confront them immediately, anywhere, anytime if they dare lie to me. This has created a social situation whereupon I can only be the loser. They will want to be far from me. I’ve now lost the opportunity to become friends because of prodigious ignorance and the social morays that tyrannize our lives. My words are short and strong. I stop the condescending phrases that have echoed in my head for thirty-two years. Now there is no room for making friends or creating casual acquaintances. People are scared of a disabled person who won’t accept what they insultingly insist as the truth about my life and me. Their faces turn red and their eyes dart elsewhere when they’re embarrassed by what they’ve said and how they’ve acted towards me. Where they felt uncomfortable before with what I look like, now they are doubly uncomfortable with what I’m thinking. At this point, after being confronted with the truth, most people are mistrustful of me. If I do not accept their narrow- minded guile, they become vicious with self-righteous, self –justifying rhetoric. They declare their defensive ranting not only to me, but worse, to all their friends and acquaintances. This is surely one of the most ugly and impossible social conditions to combat: a condition that all disabled folks must live with. Everyday life is difficult enough without having to read between the lines of what is being preached to you and then setting the record straight with no more than the gut force of your own self-respect and dignity. Do all those pretty people have self-respect and dignity? I think they do, but it’s seen and understood only by those close friends that surround these lost personalities, who drain so much energy from the innocent, decent souls close to them. I’ve worked in the able-bodied world through my years of disability. Wearing my right arm in a black sling has afforded me living an almost “normal” life and the ability to achieve measured success at the jobs I’ve held. During these years of being active in the workplace I’ve confronted the truly ugly part of people. Co-workers have laughed in my face: literally. This has occurred numerous times through these many years. I’ve been told that I can’t work at this or that because I take too much time doing it. I’ve been blamed for stranger’s mistakes and others bad behavior: literally. Through all these times I’ve had to stand up alone and say “No!” The consequences of my vehement denials and my accurate sequence of truths are that of making my co-workers uncomfortable. This is a serious situation in the workplace. Nobody wants to spend a day at work in unpalatable company. So, the price to be paid for me stating the truth, is to be outcast, looked upon with mistrust, accused of being unnecessarily aggressive and finally to have my tasks at work shifted and changed by the managers. These stated occurrences you’ve just read have happened to me at every job I’ve had, from photo labs in the city, to working in the computer field for an IBM- owned company. Every manager has attempted to curb me, blame me for discontent in the office, or for mistakes that I did not create. I’ve been singled out and cases built against me without proof, only the word of the manager. Again this has happened in different businesses through varying jobs. I’ve always said “no”. I’ve had to constantly defend myself and probably always will. I know that is my destiny: for life to be as difficult as possible for me, no matter if the tasks are mental or physical. I personally must think this way because it’s always been true from the very beginning of my disability. All rights reserved Kurt W. Franke 2002

oleg

From: iQrXDudrIYTXsqQ
Email: omega@gagmail.com
Date: 04 Apr 2008
Time: 00:29:36
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egor

From: WGrntAOsepKqQPtrn
Email: pinta@gagmail.com
Date: 11 Apr 2008
Time: 07:48:42
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silkisocora Unreseebraw

From: BumBrunty
Email: bimbANTITEmem@yahoo.com
Date: 20 Mar 2008
Time: 08:12:46
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