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How have you effectively blocked others from using your disability
as a convenient excuse for rejection?

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A Convenient Excuse For Rejection

Name: Anne (Lady Godiva)
E-mail: ladygodiva@bigfoot.com
Date: 30 Jan 1998
Time: 08:37:33
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When I was growing up my mother used to warn me not to become romanticly interested in able-bodied men because she thought no man would want the responsibility of taking care of a woman with C.P. I should stick to "my own kind" my mother explained, men with C.P. or other type of disabilities who would understand my needs. My mother wasn't trying to be cruel when she said this, she just wanted to save me from rejection.

Unfortunately, rejected I was - by both able-bodied men and men with disabilities! I found that a lot of men with disabilities wanted to become involved with able-bodied women. They didn't want to stick to their "own kind"! There were some, admittedly, who didn't care whether a woman was able-bodied or had a disability. Unfortunately, I just never "clicked" with these guys. They weren't my type or I wasn't their's.

Despite my mother's warnings, I tried to catch the attention of able-bodied men. Oh they liked me, sure, but never in "that way"; they just wanted to be friends.

I was frustrated beyond belief! I was a nice person, wasn't I? I was a good person with a lot to offer! Then why couldn't anybody get past my disability?

At twenty-nine I thought I was going to die an old maid, a virgin, forever without a mate. It was then that a miracle happened. One day, logged onto a bulletinboard system andI began chatting with this guy named Rob. He was sweet and funny, and I liked him, as he liked me, almost instantly. Rob was also able-bodied, which was why, I didn't tell him at first that I had C.P. I was afraid of how he might react - I couldn't face another rejection! However, after a month of chatting with Rob I felt secure enough to tell him. Amazingly, he didn't care about my disability. He still liked me, he said, and wanted to meet me.

We met, started dating and fell in love. It's ten years later and we're married and trying to have a baby. My mother thinks I'm nuts for trying to get pregnant, but I don't care. I learned that she's not right about everything.

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