Where to go from here

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Name: Melissa Woods
Email: 11millie@bellsouth.net
Date: 28 Feb 2002
Time: 12:20:17
Remote Name: host-209-214-148-2.msy.bellsouth.net

Story

On August 8, 1996, I was blessed with a baby girl. A week later, her eyes became a brown and yellow color. I found out that she had jaundice. Her bilirubin level was extremely high, but her doctor could not tell what was causing the problem. She was given antibiotics in the hospital and was sent home. A month later she started screaming in pain nonstop, so I rushed her back to the hospital. She was admitted again. Her bilirubin level was still high. Her doctor still could not determine what was the cause. Her milk was changed and she was being seen on a regular basis by a pediatrician. At five months of age, she started to have breathing problems and would stop breathing in her sleep. I changed her pediatrician. The new pediatrician immediately put her in the hospital and began extensive testing and had her seen by numerous doctors. She was diagnosed as having mild retardation(develpmentally disabled), non progressive cerebal palsy, obstructive airway disease, asthma, sleep apnea and having a myelin deficiency. She was sent home with a machine which alerted me when she would stop breathing. To make a long story shorter, she was admitted into the hospital once a month for at least three years. She is now five years old and is currently attending public school. I have no help with her besides my chidren who love her dearly, but it's so much they can do. At the time when I became pregnant I was working a a Case Management Specialist. I could not continue working due to my daughters constant hospital admissions. I have gone from being a case management specialist to being a parking lot attendant, case packer, maid and a temp agency worker. They were all grave yard shifts, because I could no longer work during the daytime hours. My daughter had to be seen on a routine basis by doctors and therapists. Soon as my daughter started to get better and was no longer being admitted into the hospital, I thought it would be safe to get a day job. I was hired as an intake specialist in an elderly protection agency. Before I could complete the probationary period,I was fired due to failure to complete the probationary period successfully. Now I am unemployed , my home was foreclosed and my children and I are temporary living with my mother. The situation around the house is very hectic. My mother is not use to so many people in her home. She's not only housing me and my four children ,but also my neice and and nephew. There is no room for all of us and I can tell she can't take it any more. She stays in her bedroom and when she come out she is constantly complaining. I'm really trying hard, but it seems like nothing I do is right. The children also upsets her. Not too much the older children but my disabled daughter is alot to deal with. She's very hyped and I am trying my best to keep her calm, but it's hard when you are in someone else's home. I can't keep her strapped in her chair all the time and she is very distructive. She's also very strong and has a mind of her own. When I lost my home, I asked my sister and brother who are currently living in Georgia, if my children and I, could come out there. I knew once I moved out there it would be better for my family and better services for my daughter. Both turned me down. It was like a punch in the face and it hurted extremely. Now, reading this you may ask yourself if I am on drugs or have some type of criminal background and the answer is no. I have never used drugs, smoked or been in jail. The worst thing I have done is having children out of wedlock and not having a mate in my life. When my sister and brother were in need, my home was always open to them. My brother stayed with me when he was battling a drug addiction. Everyone else turned their back on him and now he is becoming a minister. My sister used me to watch her children for her to work and go out on dates. Now she has two homes . I have been suffering from depression and my days go up and down. I'm having trouble forgiving them and I know it's not right for me to feel this way, but if your own family can't put away their selfish ways when you are in serious need, than who will. All I want to do at this time is relocate to Georgia and startover. I have been surfing the web trying to locate agencies that could offer some type of help, but so far I have been unsuccessful. I applied for a low income apartment in Griffin Georgia, but I am on a waiting list. Now I don't know where to go from here. I can't get a job because there is no one to keep my daughter and my mom works from time to time. She really can't handle my daughter. So where can I go from here?

Re: Stand up for the disabiliy community!

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Date: 16 Feb 2008
Time: 01:33:53
Remote Name: 198.54.202.82

Story

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Name: Cory
Email: jack@mail15.com
Date: 14 Jun 2008
Time: 22:18:10
Remote Name: 72.232.95.158

Story

Confidence and its Origin

Name: Anmol Rana
Email: ranurana@rediffmail.com
Date: 24 Apr 2005
Time: 01:37:10
Remote Name: 61.0.5.163

Story

Confidence and its Origin Don’t you have the confidence to do this work …… Come on, you can do it……. Have confidence…… What does all this mean? Why do we say all these words when we are expecting somebody to do something? Why do these words generate a zeal to win and achieve the target? Why this word has so much to do with truth, trust, win, achieve, and move forward in life? Why do we react so positively after hearing this word? What if nobody uses this word ahead of some challenging task? Does this word guarantees your success and win? There are so many questions which come to my mind whenever I hear somebody using the word ‘confidence’. There are so many words we speak but only few enter the mind, the heart and the soul. Whether it is an exam, a football match or a stage show, you are showered with this word ahead of all such events. Does this so called ‘confidence’ comes only when somebody says it to you or is it somewhere inside us and need to be stimulated by one’s brain itself ? One day I asked my father that what is confidence and where is its origin? He smiled as if I asked something really funny and not very seriously he pointed his finger towards my heart and then towards my head and then rotated his finger around my body from head to tow, and said, “ confidence generates from your heart, sent to your brain for processing and then supplied to your body’s each and every nerve”. I was old enough to understand that his reply to my question was not a serious one and he said what immediately hit his mind. It was a rainy evening the same day and I sat alone in my room with my eyes closed and my hands locked behind my head. In these few hours my brain had done something which changed my attitude for the rest of life. My father’s words were transformed into some equations which I was not able to distinguish clearly. My eyelids were down but there was movement inside. I was feeling the pressure in my forehead. Suddenly I began to realize that my body’s temperature was higher now and there was sweat in some portions. With my eyes closed I began to think about this. I started concentrating on the my father’s words. They continuously echoed in my brain. Suddenly the sentenced was reduced to few words which said ‘heart’, ‘mind’, ‘soul’ and ‘confidence’. I opened up my eyes. The mind state was a bit different now. For a moment I felt that I have solved those equations and I knew all the answers. I came out of my room, a deep breathe, stretched my body with my arms up in the air and stared at the sunset and I don’t know how and why but the fist words which came out of my mouth were, “confidence generates from your heart, sent to your brain for processing and then supplied to your body’s each and every nerve”. Even today I am not able to exactly define and locate the origin of confidence but I have a clear vision about confidence which in times have always proved to be correct and perfect. Confidence is actually a characteristic which is possessed by every human being. Confidence to speak, confidence to trust, confidence to do something, confidence to face some competition and list goes on. It is in every heart beat and flows in and out with every breath. Confidence is a symbol of positivism, truth, trust, happiness, win, and achievement. Confidence reflects your personality, the way you think, the way you react to situations, your abilities and your capabilities. It is a representation of your mental strength which is the root to your physical strength. Confidence is a tool which acts as an amplifier to your abilities. Confidence acts as a protective layer to your abilities and capabilities. Higher the confidence, more is the protection. Confidence is a result of positive attitude plus knowledge plus hard work, accompanied with four Ds, i.e. Discipline, Determination, Dedication and Devotion. Each of these constituents are essential. Confidence does not come with any wishes You are confident when you know what you have to do, how you are going to do it and why you are doing it. Confidence is a major player when you face almost equivalent or better competition. Whatever you do, if your efforts are accompanied with confidence, your chances are better. Confidence can be realized, since it is an inborn quality, from anywhere and anybody. An ant who tries to pull a sugar crystal much bigger that her size is sometimes the source of confidence. The enemy of confidence is fear but confidence always beats fear. To be confident fear must be murdered and murdered brutally. To kill fear you don’t need a knife or a pistol but confidence itself. Trust yourself. Be honest and face the reality. Don’t expect others to come and support you . This is not your job and it does not lies in your hands. All you need is the support of your heart, mind and soul. Hold them together and see yourself as a winner. Confidence and fear cannot go together. If your heart, mind and soul are full of confidence then there is no room for fear. Now I understand that it was not my father who was not serious while answering my question but it was me who didn’t have confidence in my father’s reply. Now whenever somebody asks me, what is confidence and where is its origin? I say , “ confidence generates from your heart, sent to your brain for processing and then supplied to your body’s each and every nerve”. Anmol