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The ultimate friend

Name: Kyoung
Email: thatskyoung@hotmail.com
Date: 11 Dec 2000
Time: 14:20:18

Story

My husband has been on a  wheelchair for 13 years and I met him last year. We get along very well despite very different background and race.

I'd like to share our story to people with mobility concerns and relationship issues with physically able person.

We were just friends at the beginning and he had fall for a lady who met on the plane. She was ex-Vietnamese Canadian. He is also Canadian but worked as a software engineer in US. She came to US with her boyfriend and got a new job. She lost her job after working in US only a month. Not only loosing the new job, she found her boyfriend was married. She was in trouble and desperately needed some help from anyone.

My husband who has good heart, helped her to get a job in the same company he was working and paid her debt. They had developed relationship and he was hoping to get married. After 2 months of dating seeing each other everyday, he thought he knew her very well. He started to talk about his dream of having family but her answer was ambiguous and no clear. She kept telling him that she hasn't recovered from her previous relationship and needed more time.

I met my husband while he was seeing Suong and questioning his current relationship. I guess he approached me to get some help to understand Asian family values. He told me that her father is against her to getting married to different race and she doesn't want upset her father. He asked me would it be better wait to get her father's approval for their relationship or move on to new relationship. I told him that if he loves her truely and believe her love is truthful then it's worth waiting and then move on.

I am came from South Korea and respect my parents. My parents also respect me and my wishes. If my parents were against my marriage then I will wait until they bless me. But I wouldn't give up my love because my parents are against it for racial issues. I think it is irrational and illogical to disapprove one's relationship for different background.

Couple of months later, Brian told me that he found out that she was married recently but was hiding it for some reason. She wouldn't tell him the truth by herself. He discovered it by chance when he went to her office that is in the same building. She was writing e-mail to her brother-in-law. Even then she was denying the real truth. She explained that she got married 7 months ago and had no intention to get married but was forced by her father. The reason she gave to him was ridiculous to me. How 30 year old, fully grown woman was forced to get married by her father? I suspected that she might be using her father as an excuse, blame him for saying no to Brian, making her rejection mild as possible.

By that time my compassion for her was turning to disgust and delusion. Brian discovered that she was been married 5 years ago. She lied that she was single when they dated together. Her father did arrange her marriage. I heard that some Chinese American to marry by their parent's will. She escaped her unhappy marriage with her ex-lover whom she met at work in Canada. She dumped her ex-lover for hiding his marital status. Hypocritically, she deceived Brian for a year. Currently she is living together with new Asian boyfriend. Didn't she tell that she is not interested dating anyone? She change her truth so fast that nobody can't catch up quickly enough, or are we not getting the harsh truth?

I am very disgusted by her. I am even angry for her that taking advantage of Brian's good nature. He saved her from law suit by her former company, friends and unemployment.

Brian, now my husband, has confessed me that he is not confident about his sexual performance. Probably this experience dimmed his physical confidant.

I guess disability might be disadvantage in some situations. If she or he whom sexual satisfaction is important, they should l not consider committing to a disable person. I am disturbed because this egotistical, physically able lady took advantage of hard working lonely man on wheelchair. We shall once put our foot in the other person's shoes and learn how discomforting it is.

When you are lonely, you can be desperate, vulnerable and blind. You might not see things clearly and distinguish who is sheep and wolf. I believe the ultimate friend you can rely on is the Heavenly Father. I think he really does listen to his children's prayers and trouble. He doesn't judge people with their physical ability. He is very patient with our mistakes and temper. He is forgiving and very understanding. He watches every moments of our life and feelings. He might be too quiet and sometimes too slow to answer our question, but he keeps his promises and is fair to everyone. He even knows what is the best for us.

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Name: petr
Email: beta@gagmail.com
Date: 05 Apr 2008
Time: 16:23:41

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Date: 07 Apr 2008
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Email: alfa@gagmail.com
Date: 09 Apr 2008
Time: 01:18:37

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Name: oleg
Email: beta@gagmail.com
Date: 02 Apr 2008
Time: 16:22:36

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