My Remission Turned on Me; I Can't Get Back on Disability

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When have you found yourself in trouble due to your disability?
How did you handle it?

Name: April Brown
Email: IBNailTek@aol.com
Date: 18 Mar 2000
Time: 00:32:24
Remote Name: bar-pm3-1-43.jvlnet.com
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I am a 35-year-old registered and participating voter who has weathered many years of medical challenges. Several years ago I became quite ill. Now for me this was not a new situation, but up till that time I was able to complete an education after my required high school years. I struggled through school to become skilled in office work and was able to acquire a job for which I thought would be the start of building a career.

To my disappointment I became so ill I had to quit work and basically quit life and nearly died from my conditions; I applied for Social Security Disability and it was granted with no problem as far as I recall. I dealt with this illness which I have had since the age of five years old, but not until this time had it affected me to the point of not being able to live a fairly "normal" life. Yes, I missed a great deal of my school years but was able to pass my grade levels by the skin of my teeth because I tried with all my abilities.

To go on with my story; as I stated I had acquired disability for which I was on for quite a few years; then I reached a place in my life for which I call a "remission" and felt that I could be a productive tax paying citizen. I even went back to school to become a nail technician and began working in my new career. To my surprise I came to live, eat and breath this skill and ability to serve others and my health seemed to be better and better with time. I did have times when I fell ill, but I bounced back quickly.

Approximately two or three years ago I worked at getting off of Social Security Disability because I didn't feel it was necessary for me to collect it because I was "healthy" enough to work and sometimes I was working three jobs. Three jobs at the same periods of time was exemplary for me being that I had come from a period of time in my life where my family, physicians and even I felt I may not live to see my twenties. At least not to see and/or live them in a quality way.

Approximately two years ago I was able to finally move out of my parents' house (at the age of 30-31 years old) and live, work and play on my own. I acquired a great job for which I left because I was asked to come work for a different employer who offered more income because of my skill and was able to afford my own apartment. These are accomplishments I thought I would never obtain due to the uncertainty of my health.

A little over a year ago I became very ill again and unable to live the productive lifestyle of a normal, healthy citizen. My employer fell into a great denial that I would not be returning and had a hard time accepting my resignation; I just didn't feel it was fair to leave them hanging and not having me there to provide a service to the public that was offered by that business. They finally accepted this sad resignation.

I then took it upon myself out of necessity to apply for Social Security Disability, and to my disappointment and life dependency, I have only hit walls for which I am denied the help I so much need from my country through this agency.

I know that I am very young and probably have only worked shy of ten years total, therefore not paying into Social Security the substantial amount that my peers have, but I did what I was able and now I feel that I am being disregarded as worthy of any assistance that IS to be provided for tax paying citizens such as myself. I come from a strong, hearty family background of intelligent, strong willing, tax paying citizens who have put many loyal years into work, therefore also paying into the programs required by our government from working United States citizens. I also have many family members alive and decease who have given their services unselfishly to protect and fight for our country. I am proud to say my family came to this country and fought in our Revolutionary and Civil Wars, and I'm sure they in no way rebelled against their requirement of doing so.

I don't know, maybe I'm grasping for straws in justifying my need of help from my country, but I am so disappointed in the system that is known to shell out tons of money to help feed, clothe and shelter people in other countries who are not required to contribute to our system. I have grown quite cynical of our country’s provision for our own citizens. What does it take to get the help that my past generations and I have contributed to?

I have filed and re-filed when denied any assistance from disability. I have seen and heard the stories of those who claim to be ill or injured and granted assistance, only to see that they do collect and hold jobs for which they would not be able to do if they truly are ill or injured. So, here I am ill and unable to be a productive citizen and, when I talk with someone in the Social Security agency, I am basically given flack about the fact that I HAD been on disability but "decided" I was no longer disabled and removed myself from obtaining assistance for the agency of Social Security Disability, as though I committed some act of murder or something morally wrong. It was true that, although I was and always will have the disabilities, I had come to a place in time that those disabilities were no longer rendering me unable to work.

Now they have erupted into a way for which I am unable to work. Why is it so wrong for me to have removed myself from obtaining that assistance because I felt I did not need it any longer at that time? I have always been a believer in being honest and not trying to "work or cheat" the system, and now I am getting the feeling that I should have gone the wrong way and lied about the fact that I had become well enough to work and support myself.

I am so tired, frustrated, and honestly very angry that I am being disregarded as worthy, and I am sure that is noticeable in my ramblings but I have exhausted my resources and am at a loss as to what I do now. Being that I do have family and friends who love me, I get some help here and there, but, had I not been lucky enough to have that, I would at this time be living on the streets with raggedy clothes, fretting about where I would get my next meal. No, actually I would be dead! But I guess that is where we have to fall in order to even become eligible for any help.

I spent 19 days in the hospital, and that included Christmas. I was discharged just shy of New Year's Day. During that admission there were approximately 3-5 days where they were not sure I was even going to live, due to a severe infection brought on by catching the flu from a roommate. I always have to be placed in a room with another patient because medical assistance does not pay for private room. Therefore, I am exposed to more extreme illness when admitted for maybe a simple, easily treatable illness related to my condition.

My condition is basically that I have a severely suppressed if not non-exhistant immune system so I am unable to fight off some of even the lesser germs such as a cold which could render me ill to a point of possibly death!

At the present time, I am receiving a very small amount of welfare for which I feel so dirty about receiving. I know that I shouldn't feel that way but welfare feels like a hand out, and I don't believe in that. Beside that point, it's not enough for me to even pay my bills, let alone my rent. Anything I had owned through my hard work during the time I was well enough to be productive I no longer have because, when my "remission" turned on me, in order to obtain the minuscule amount of welfare I now receive I had to lose everything I own. Now where is the sense in that?

I don't know what you can do for me, but I sure hope that no one in your family or circle of friends becomes ill and in need receiving the Social Security they have worked so hard for. Just think how would you live should you go into retirement and they tell you they won't give it to you for some reason or another.

I sure hope that my outpouring of anger and frustration does not fall on deaf ears. Should you not be the resource I need please tell me who is and what it takes for me to obtain some help.

Please help me. I am at my wits end -- not to mention the fact that I'm scared to death.

JgNIdetMOiyqrFvxn

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