A Natural, Human, and Humbling Experience

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When have you reacted to people in a manner similar to how others have treated you due to your disability?

Name: Betsy Walton
Email: betsylei@voicenet.com
Date: 23 Nov 2000
Time: 03:56:37

Story

I was a Special Education major/Psychology minor in college in the early 1980's. I was active in the Disabled Students' Coalition. I also launched the campaign urging the college administration to construct a ramp leading to the front entrance of the Library. For four and a half of my five-year college life, disabled students were forced to enter the library via the back service entrance. The students had to call the front desk, alert them of their arrival and then use an intercom phone -- that worked, hopefully -- to let the clerk know that they were waiting to be let in the door.

As I returned to my dorm room after a long day, I came along side a student. She was walking my way. I love to chat with people and struck up a conversation with her. I noticed she had a speech problem and didn't think another thing about it. I invited my new friend to join me for lunch. When we got our meals and selected a table, she asked me what I wanted to drink. I said, "Two regular milks." I had my head down and she stood across from me. She said, "You'll have to look at me when you speak to me; I'm deaf and I read lips." I looked up with a surprised expression and paused. Then, as if I was hearing someone else's voice coming from my mouth, I heard myself say, "Yes, two regular milks, please." I said that sentence very s..l..o...w...l...y and with exaggerated lip/mouth movements.

After she smiled and left to get the drinks, I cringed outwardly and chastised myself for doing exactly the wrong thing when speaking with a deaf person: Never over-exaggerate the words but speak using a normal tone and pace. By the time my friend returned, I was composed and quickly apologized to her for over-doing it with the milk request. She smiled and told me not to worry about it. How nice of her. I appreciated her understanding. I also learned a valuable lesson: When you are taken by surprise by someone admitting they are disabled, you (the universal "you") and I can and do easily react in the "normal" way -- slowing down speech and over exaggerating pronunciation to a deaf person, even when "you" and I may know that is NOT the correct manner of relating to a deaf person at all!! Humbling lesson indeed!!!

Oh, I almost forgot to wrap up the beginning of this story: During my senior year of college, the front of the Library was renovated and a ramp was constructed leading to the front entrance. While I only used the ramp for one semester, it remains in use today by disabled and non-disabled students alike. I am most proud of that legacy.

A Natural, Human, and Humbling Experience

Story

Last changed: October 20, 2003