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When has healthy grieving helped you start a new chapter in your life?

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Grieving

Name: Carol Bobb
Email: Travhops@telus.net
Date: 26 Oct 1999
Time: 07:04:02
Remote Name: pgrg01m01-21.bctel.ca

Story

I was having lunch with a girlfriend when my stroke hit. I refused to go to the hospital or let an ambulance be called as I knew all this would go away. She called my daughter, who rushed me to the hospital.

I listened in disbelief as doctors told me I was having a stroke. Even after my whole right side was paralyzed I kept telling them I'd be fine if I could just go home and rest. When I finally accepted I'd had a stroke I knew it wouldn't be permanent, that I'd recover fully.

I did regain a lot of function. I can move my right side and walk some, although not far and I have no fine motor control of my hand. With much reluctance, I got a motorized wheelchair. I was in denial for a long time but finally realized I'd lost a lot of function and it was all right to be sad about that. I sank into depression.

But I finally realized that, yes, I'd lost a lot but that is gone so now I needed to concentrate on what I still had, adapt to my losses and rebuild my life. I try to keep myself busy, and, even though life has changed drastically, it still can be fulfilling and rich.

I think grieving your losses is healthy, but there comes a time to adapt to and get on with life. There's a movie line I love - You can get busy living or get busy dying. I choose to get busy living. I write, do lots of volunteer work, have written a book on life after stroke with tips on everything from how to bathe and dress yourself to which local stores lend wheelchairs, etc. My hope is my experiences will help someone else who's facing this.

My advice is never give up. I am still a contributing member of society; I've just had to learn new ways of doing things. I could have home support workers, but instead I choose to do things myself. To sweep floors I have to scoot around using a whisk broom and to mop them I use a cloth and ice cream bucket. And I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I'm finished. Every task I can do for myself makes me feel a bit more independent and in control of my life.

So grief is healthy and all right, but then you put it aside and concentrate on what you can do and get on with life. Before long you may even find, that like me, you're again enjoying life.

Copyright © 1999 Carol Bobb. All rights reserved.

Last changed: February 07, 2008

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