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When have you dealt with the reality of how people perceive you due to your disability?

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Dumb and Dumber

Name: Gary Roberts
Email: jg86@hotmail. com
Date: 24 Jan 2001
Time: 23:50:06

Story

We know too well how people like to laugh at us. How little kids stand and stare or come up to us and say things like, "Gee whizz, what happened to you?" Their parents are often frantic, pulling them away and apologizing -- not daring to look at us. You can imagine them saying, "Come away and leave the poor cripple alone."

I am thinking, "Wait, don't go away. Let me answer him." But I am not brave enough to chase after them.

Polite society has come to frown on the C word; "handicapped" is mute also. Most people know that "handicapped" comes from the old tradition of begging by cripples. The Bible and Koran and other religions uphold giving alms to the crippled. In the Old Testament, being crippled was risky because people might decide you are devil-possessed and lead you out of town and stone you to death. Hitler, of course, set out to rid the area he controlled in Europe of cripples. He took them out and killed them or put them in hospitals where doctors did all kinds of weird surgery.

Most people will insist that they are not different from anyone else: "I am just a normal person who happens to be in a wheelchair or blind or deaf. I worked hard to get where I am, and I did it because I am qualified." They are not around when their co-workers get off by themselves and talk about the cripple they work with. They don't witness the crude jokes and bold stories told about disabled people by the non-disabled.

I think of all the tortured souls I have talked to over the years. They paid a terrible price to get where they are. In the majority, they are scared by life. Many of them have made it though, and they have good reason to be proud. If we could grant someone a prayer, it probably should be: the opportunity to be who they are, to verbalize a hurt, to confront a tormenter. People pay people like me in the disguise of friends who are therapists to listen awhile and lend a friendly ear.  I want to tell them to go home, talk to your wife, talk to your husband, talk to your kids. Most of the time they respond, "I can't talk to anyone about how I really feel." That response leaves me feeling sad for the person who expresses it. How terrible lonely to have no one to confide with!

As we near death or old age, most of us will never be feted for our accomplishments. We will never have the chance to stand up and tell the world how we really feel. In truth most of us could not, if we were given the opportunity.

Try to find a way to vent what is inside you and what torments your soul.  If you are a mental, physical or emotional cripple, come to terms with it. Say it is OK, that "I am who I am, and I will live my life as I choose." Let your fears go and be free for the first time in your life.

Copyright © 2001 Gary Roberts. All rights reserved.

Last changed: February 07, 2008

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